baby darling i missed you..
6pm-11pm on monday..
6pm-11pm on tuesday..
6pm-11pm on thursday..
6pm-11pm on friday..
1pm-11pm on saturday..
admist all these...there's still school...and meetings...
this is an ordinary week for darling..
and its saddening me cuz of all he's going through..
all that lack of sleep and time for himself..
i have my regrets..
for what happened last sat..
for not treasuring the time together..
now i have to wait long before i can see him again..
long long...
:'(
i miss you!
aBoUt LoVe..
9:47 PM.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
i'm still learning how to appreciate..
after 2 years...and i still think i'm immature in handling relationships..
i thought i could be strong..but i still shattered..
i thought by saying my thoughts and feelings would make things better..
i thought i've learnt to appreciate things now..
but i was wrong..
i didn't think of him..
many things i don't understand..after some thoughts..then i realised..perhaps sometimes i should show it in action that i care..because i know deep down i really do..
but have i done that? or has baby been doing much more for me which i don't seem to appreciate and notice? have i been taking everything for granted?
saying thanks is something i learnt to do..
and practising it has never been much of a problem..
now its left with controlling of my temper..
something which has been haunting me since i was young..
thats me i realised..straightforward and shooting my mouth without thinking of the feelings of the other person..saying what comes to my mind..
reflector? prof are you sure thats me? i thought i raised this question about framing of our mind before doing the inventory...but you said it didn't matter! PURE nonsense! i don't see a reflector in me now :(
secure attachment?? prof, i'm beginning to query what you taught on friday...
finding a partner with secure attachment will lead to a happy marriage and a happy relationship?? prof, it seems darling baby isn't that happy at all..do you think i can conclude that you were right about my attachment type? or was it suppose to be insecure avoidant or insecure resistant or insecure disorganized?? perhaps its supposed to be insecure resistant attachment?? - seeking closeness but becomes angry, reject, push and hit, making a big fuss when being loved?
was it something to do with me? thats what i need to sit down alone to think about..
but for now, i know i'm still learning how to appreciate..
i want to be happy..i want to smile..
i want YOU to be happy..i want YOU to smile..
Thanks for all you've done for me..
aBoUt LoVe..
10:41 PM.
Friday, September 19, 2008
grandma is still in the hospital..
she has undergone a surgery..and they inserted a "screw" into her body...*oUch*
thereafter, they monitored her progress..
yesterday..they called for an emergency..
bp was 50..and all the nurses and docs were on standby..
luckily she was fine after a blood transfusion..
today..she ate half a bowl of porridge..
she said she still felt giddy..
and she was still running a fever..
gosh!~
all these sufferings just because of a fall...
*old people*
the more i look at her, the more i can feel the pain she's suffering from..
how i wish i could be the one lying on bed instead of her..
allevating the pain from her..
:(
aBoUt LoVe..
9:54 PM.
Monday, September 15, 2008
mel is appreciating the people around her =) she learnt it from baby darling..
it was baby max's one month old celebration yesterday.
That cute little boy!!~
my grandmother is set for an operation. Not too sure when it will be though. But dad said she won't be able to walk for the next 6-8 months because they're either going to transplant the entire pelvic bone or add a screw inside...*eEeeW pain*
poor mama..
aBoUt LoVe..
12:59 PM.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
would you believe a young child aged 12 or a old granny aged 70+??
i seriously won't know how to answer this question. Yet, many a times, we are faced with it..
both sides of the story i've heard. But i have yet to come to a conclusion on who is right. I chose to believe my grandmother. Reason being, i know how playful the 3 little monkeys are. I've seen it. And i've scolded. But all words were fallen on deaf ears.
Until yesterday...
My grandmother has been admitted because of a fall caused by the 3 little monkeys at home. Scold them? Blame them? Whack them hard?? HOW?! they're just young kids. ignorant, innocent young kids. they're still growing up. they're boys afterall!!
fractures. that's what the doc said. Shouldn't she be feeling the pain and shouldn't she be lying on bed instead of moving around? Even the doc was shocked.
After the fall, she managed to stand up and continued walking around the house as if nothing happened. Painless she felt..until this morning.
She couldn't feel it cuz she fell on her right side which happened to be the side which she has least feeling because of that stroke several years ago. Her right hand was swollen with bruises. Yet when we asked her if she felt pain, she said an affirmative NO! And she can still move herself on the bed. OMG! STOP MOVING!! :(
she COULD be paralysed waist-down if the hip bone cracks into half. Nothing will then be able to support her. She won't be able to go Genting!
little kids..a bunch of monkeys! Still remained unknowing about the whole situation.
aBoUt LoVe..
10:07 PM.
